inside the shoebox.

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my poetry

inside the shoebox.

1 SUICIDE MAKES A VISIT

look at you all trapped inside

you couldn't get out if you tried

don't wanna do anything do ya girl?

Can't, can ya?

Nobody to do things with anymore.

Can't see anyone, too dark

and don't you worry about a light

you might have known one

but it's gone now

and that's how it's supposed to be

can't feel anyone

look at you all huddled up in the corner

just keep thinking right?

Cant' stop that brain from thinking

driving you nuts, huh?

Those thoughts polluting your mind hmm?

Crying again

look at you girl, your own thoughts are your pollution

you search for another way out

but in the end

I'm the only solution.

2 HOPE MAKES AN APPEARANCE

there's a light right outside

3 I'VE COME UNDONE

I'm like a big rubber band ball/ Millions of rubber bands/ And you're a rubber band/ Maybe twenty/ No, you're a hundred rubber bands/ And everyone I've talk to or seen or anything, they're all rubber bands too/ But they've popped off/ Even you/ all of them/ and I can't move around anymore/ All these things just keep popping off/ one by one/ until I reached the core/ and the core wasn't them/ it wasn't you either/ it was me/ and it wasn't until then that I stood up/ and pushed the lid off the shoebox.

4 MY REALIZATION AFTER YOU LEFT ME

me? ME?!

I opened the lid?

Me?!

no it was you.

and you are gone now.

too late for me to say thank you.

but I thank you

I thank you a million times

I thank you a million years from now

you left your diary in the cabinet

behind the cereal

did you know I cried

when I read it?

sorry for reading it.

you wrote

"…the therapist said

he would inform me of

my life

as it is

`inside the shoebox'."

You helped me out

and I thank you

you were the core

the very center of

not me, you

and I'm sorry

5 LAST ENTRY OF YOUR DIARY

the therapist said:

you just keep taking these antidepressants.

They'll make you feel good

and have a good outlook on life

you listen to me,

you take these antidepressants.

You said you hated the dark

here's your light in one little bottle

promise me you'll take them?

yes

but I didn't.

Once you are inside the shoebox

you're stuck

nobody wants in here

and I'm trapped.

I can't get out

this is the last time

I'll say goodbye.

Thank you for being there with me

through the good times and the bad

but there isn't anymore time

I can't feel anyone or breathe anyone

this life I've lived

all alone is no more

your candle flame

has flicked the scrapes

and wounded the crippled

and killed the lame

and everyone will go insane

when it starts to call

their name

and little do they know they're next

it pulls you inside

you haven't got the strength to get out

they discard you like dirty socks

that lost the time

on humble clocks

who have ticked their last and final tocks

and when they tumble down like blocks,

the cardboard keys will close the locks

they'll kill the kill

inside the walls

of this dark and lonely hell

which only I have come to know

as being inside

the shoebox.


	amaze me machine. \| home my poetry inside the shoebox. 1 SUICIDE MAKES A VISIT look at you all trapped inside you couldn't get out if you tried don't wanna do anything do ya girl? Can't, can ya? Nobody to do things with anymore. Can't see anyone, too dark and don't you worry about a light you might have known one but it's gone now and that's how it's supposed to be can't feel anyone look at you all huddled up in the corner just keep thinking right? Cant' stop that brain from thinking driving you nuts, huh? Those thoughts polluting your mind hmm? Crying again look at you girl, your own thoughts are your pollution you search for another way out but in the end I'm the only solution. 2 HOPE MAKES AN APPEARANCE there's a light right outside 3 I'VE COME UNDONE I'm like a big rubber band ball/ Millions of rubber bands/ And you're a rubber band/ Maybe twenty/ No, you're a hundred rubber bands/ And everyone I've talk to or seen or anything, they're all rubber bands too/ But they've popped off/ Even you/ all of them/ and I can't move around anymore/ All these things just keep popping off/ one by one/ until I reached the core/ and the core wasn't them/ it wasn't you either/ it was me/ and it wasn't until then that I stood up/ and pushed the lid off the shoebox. 4 MY REALIZATION AFTER YOU LEFT ME me? ME?! I opened the lid? Me?! no it was you. and you are gone now. too late for me to say thank you. but I thank you I thank you a million times I thank you a million years from now you left your diary in the cabinet behind the cereal did you know I cried when I read it? sorry for reading it. you wrote "…the therapist said he would inform me of my life as it is `inside the shoebox'." You helped me out and I thank you you were the core the very center of me not me, you and I'm sorry and I'm sorry and I'm sorry 5 LAST ENTRY OF YOUR DIARY the therapist said: you just keep taking these antidepressants. They'll make you feel good and have a good outlook on life you listen to me, you take these antidepressants. You said you hated the dark here's your light in one little bottle promise me you'll take them? yes but I didn't. Once you are inside the shoebox you're stuck nobody wants in here and I'm trapped. I can't get out this is the last time I'll say goodbye. Thank you for being there with me through the good times and the bad but there isn't anymore time I can't feel anyone or breathe anyone this life I've lived all alone is no more your candle flame has flicked the scrapes and wounded the crippled and killed the lame and everyone will go insane when it starts to call their name and little do they know they're next it pulls you inside you haven't got the strength to get out they discard you like dirty socks that lost the time on humble clocks who have ticked their last and final tocks and when they tumble down like blocks, the cardboard keys will close the locks they'll kill the kill inside the walls of this dark and lonely hell which only I have come to know as being inside the shoebox.